i didn't know writers block could perpetuate so long. i'm patiently waiting. in the meantime i feel like i need new words... maybe even new experiences!!!

the sad truth is that i'm so afraid to feel pain that i'm not doing much feeling at all, which really hinders the writing folks - ya gots ta feel it to write it!! i don't let people in emotionally so easily because i know how fragile i really am. and who the fuck cares anyway?? my mom recently said that "perfectionism isn't something you fix, it' something you let go of." i am soooo ready to let go of this albatross of a character trait, but i probably have to embrace it first before i let go of it.

i want someone to witness me in all of my imperfect little glory. maybe he'll still think i'm cute... and if he doesn't then it "wasn't meant to be" as they say.

i need to have a little bit more courage and put myself on the line more so that my writing can be richer and more meaningful. it's so easy to write about life from the safety of a hiding spot ... but it's so much more meaningful to write about it from the driver's seat.

oh my god what have i done? now my darling put your clothes back on.

646 deviations. I've been a terrible deviant lately, I know. I've also been a terrible/non-existent writer... well for the most part.

I write a blog for work and I've been using it as my excuse for not writing poems but I think I should can that excuse and get back in the game.

In all honesty, something is off - the words, the rhythm - it doesn't flow like it used to but I'm gonna take someone's advice and "write my way through the writer's block".

It might not be pretty, it might not even be cute, but by golly I'm gonna make it happen.

I'll also catch up on my deviations.

I just want to f*cking go craaaaaaazy!!!!!!!!!!!! rarrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're no body till some body loves you.
You're no body till some body cares.
You may be king you may possess the world and its gold,
But gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing old.

The world still is the same, you never change it
As sure as the stars shine above
You're no body till some body loves you

So find yourself some body to love!

oh dean martin. i saw a broadway show many years ago called "Contact" and this was one of the main songs in it. I think it was the show that actually made the song so meaningful to me, but regardless Dean Martin's smooth voice sounds lovely.

God bless starbucks for its new gluten free cakes and for its ability to remove dairy from anything that I ask for :-p yums!